Screeches and Mysteries
by Lauka2
Summary: Screech and Mysterion. Two completely different people. One is good, the other is evil. Can Mysterion save Screech before she ruins love for good in South park? Rated M for a scene in ch 4
1. Chapter 1

And this is my latest obsession... South Park...

* * *

"Mysterion, What the fuck?!" Tool shed yelled and looked at his friend. The one in question whipped around and looked at his friends in shock with his face beet red.

"Uh guys… this isn't what it looks like!" he tried to reclaim his honor, but the girl behind him didn't help it.

"Dude, you were totally making out with Screech!" Tool shed yelled and the girl behind him looked from behind Mysterion and looked at the guys.

"Whoopsie… I think we got busted babe" she said and stepped to the left, revealing herself.

"Oh you're busted!" Human kite yelled and looked at her. Then he looked at Mysterion "What. The. FUCK Mysterion? Seriously? Screech?!" he yelled and she looked at the others. Utter surprise and shock and disgust were visible in all their faces, except the Iron maiden, whose face couldn't be seen.

"Timmy!" he shouted with a muffled voice due to the mask.

"Guys, seriously, this isn't what it looks like!" Mysterion tried again "I was trying to… to…"

"Choke her with your tongue?!" Tupperware yelled.

"No! I was trying to make her switch to our side!" he yelled and Screech shifted a bit in her spot.

"Uh guys, its way past my curfew, and my dad'll kill me if he finds out I'm not in bed… see you guys tomorrow" she said and turned around.

"Hold it right there Screech! Bzzzzz" Mosquito yelled and she stopped "how do we know you're not lying?"

"'cause I'm not The Coon?" she said.

"Ey! I'm right here you bitch!"The Coon yelled and looked like he was about to attack Screech.

"Dude, relax!" Tool shed said and grabbed his arm "you can't just go around and hit people because they say you lie, because you do"

"Ey!" The Coon yelled and hit Tool shed. Mysterion sighed and the others got in a fight about Coon's behavior. Mysterion turned around and looked at Screech.

"Farewell, my beautiful flower" he said and took her hand "may you be safe on your way home"

"Thanks, my mysterious knight. I shall be careful" she replied and he kissed her hand. She giggled and turned around.

"Those guys are seriously stupid sometimes" she said and disappeared into the shadows.

"They sure are" Mysterion said and turned to the guys.

* * *

very short chapter i know. And the others might not be that much longer.

Love South Park XD It's goddamn funny!


	2. Chapter 2

second chapter

* * *

"Hi Kenny!" a cheery voice sounded in the dull classroom and Kenny turned around. It was his best friend, who happened to be a slightly curvaceous brunette girl called Jessica.

"Hey sweet tits" he mumbled through his hood.

"Hey, don't call me that!" she said and sat down next to him "hey, where the other guys?"

"They fell asleep during shop class" he said and she sighed.

"God, what on earth do those guys to at night?" she asked into the air and Kenny looked at her.

"Don't know. Hey… how're things going between you and that Mysterion?" he asked in a teasing voice.

"Oh shut up!" she yelled at him and the door opened "oh, hey guys" she said and the rest of the class entered, or rather, the remaining six.

"Hey Jessica" they all answered almost in synch.

"Anyone get hurt in class then? You all look so tired" she said and leaned forward on her elbows.

"Hey, don't flirt with my Stan!" Wendy yelled from behind her and Jessica looked at her.

"I'm not flirting with Stan. I know not to fuck with Wendy Testaburger… I have no intention of visiting the sun anytime soon" she said and Wendy looked at her.

"I didn't send her to the sun!" she yelled and Jessica rolled eyes "but what did you guys do last night? Kenny said you fell asleep in shop class!"

"We were… studying?" Kyle said and Cartman looked at him.

"We did?" Kyle looked at him with an angry look and he gulped "oh yeah… we studied, all night"

"Sure you did" the bell rang just after that. They all sat down on their seats and looked up at the board. The teacher walked in and they all looked up at him.

"Hey class" he said.

"Hello Mr. Garrison" they all replied, something they learned through their almost nine years of school.

"Now, today class, we're going to discuss something special. Do you all remember Sexual Harassment Panda?" he asked and they all nodded "good, because today, we're going to talk about the first time you have sex and how to do it safely"

"Aw come on dude, we've heard about this since fourth grade!" Kyle yelled.

"I know, but you can never get it too many times. Now, when is it okay to have sex? Yes Wendy?"

"When both the girl and boy are ready. You shouldn't do it unless you want to"

"Yes, yes, very fine" he said and looked on a paper on his desk "now Jessica?" he said and she looked up.

"Yes Mr. Garrison?" she said and got slightly nervous.

"Why don't you tell us about your first time with a boy?"

"What? What the hell makes you think, that I have been, with a guy?" she yelled and stood so quickly her chair fell back over.

"Well… those hickies on your neck as a first, and then because I've seen you flirting with possibly every boy in south park on your own age"

"I have not! I'm just a very honest person! And what fucking hickies are you talking about?!" she yelled in a high pitched voice.

"I think he means the highly visobol purpole marks on your neck" Cartman said and Jessica looked at him.

"What fucking marks?" she yelled.

"Those marks right there!" he yelled back at stood up too.

"I don't have marks on my neck you fatass!"

"Oh no she didn't!" Kenny mumbled

"I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!" Cartman yelled with his veins popping out.

"You two! Shut up!" Mr. Garrison yelled and they sat down "now Jessica, we all know you must have been with someone, I heard you had an abortion last year, so?"

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"Your big sister Yvonne" he said and it almost looked like Jessica's face cracked open.

"My big sister told you? My whorish good for nothing, crack smoking, drug sniffing big sister told you?"

"Yes, and she had been clean for a good two weeks when I talked to her, so it must have been true" Mr. Garrison said.

"I did not have an abortion… I'm a virgin" she said calmly "why don't you tell us about YOUR first time Mr. Garrison?" she said and he looked at her. He was silent for a good five seconds before he replied.

"Oh shut up!"

* * *

"Man that was the most exciting class in a long time. Wouldn't you say so too Kyle?" Stan asked and Kyle nodded. They had just gotten free from school a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, I've never seen Cartman so angry" he said and they both laughed a bit.

"But… what were those marks on Jessica's neck?" Stan said and they both stopped up.

"Dude… she totally made out with someone…" Kyle said and they looked at each other.

"Yeah but… who?"

"I don't know dude…" they started walking and heard someone talk a little away from them. They tried to get closer to the ones talking and rounded a corner and stopped up.

"Kenny… is something wrong?" a girl voice asked, one they recognized right away, Jessica.

"No… but how did you get those marks?" he asked, completely clearly.

"Dude, he's got his hood down" Kyle said and they looked at him.

"I don't know…" Jessica said with a slightly hesitating voice.

"Okay then… so, have you been with anyone?"

"Kenny! No! That's what I spend the entire sex education class trying to convince Mr. Garrison about! Did you even listen?"

"Of course I did… at least a little"

"Oh fuck you Kenny!" she said angrily.

"I'd rather fuck you" he said with a wink.

"Kenny!" she yelled again "stop being so immature!" she tried to sound offended but the blush on her cheeks said something else.

"Oh come on Jessie, I was just joking" he said and laughed.

"Sure you were… I have to go home. Or else my dad'll get pissed and kill me" she started walking and Kenny put on his hood and tightened it.

"Sure thing. I'll walk you home" he said and she scuffed.

"If you want to, I guess I can't stop you" she said and sped up.

"No, you don't want to stop me"

"Fuck you Kenny!" she yelled.

"You know I'd rather…"

"Shut it!"

* * *

end of chapter.

God i love writing for this... i can swear all i want! and nothing has to make any real sense... XD


	3. Chapter 3

Third Chapter

* * *

She looked out her window and sighed. Her father had been on a business trip for almost a month now, and she was getting bored. She looked around in the room and went over and locked her door. Her mom was still home, but she was making out with some random stranger she'd found that night.

"Perfect setup" she said to herself and went over to her closet. She pulled out a red suit with black striped by the shoulders and the waist. She put it on and found a matching red mask. She went over to her makeup table and put on some red mascara. She looked at the highly red lipstick her mother had bought her, but dismissed it. She found some high heeled black boots and put them on too.

"Screech is born when the city cries. She dares do things nobody else tries" she mumbled to herself and jumped from roof to roof in the small town. It had grown some since she had been in fourth grade, where it all began. Where she had found out how much she really loved to be a badass. She heard some people laugh and went over to the place where the noise had emitted from. She was a cute little girl at day. No bad words came out of her mouth, and no one would suspect her of being a villainess at night.

"Oh come on Carl. Just a small kiss" a female said and Screech looked at the seemingly newly founded couple.

"No Sharon, I want our first kiss to be special. I want it to be unforgettable" the man said and Screech twitched.

"But Carl… please, just one kiss?"

"Okay my sweet love… I will try and make it the best first kiss ever" he said and they moved their heads closer to each other.

"New found love… how fucking precious" she said and sucked in breath. Then she made the sound that gave her the name Screech. The sound was so high pitched it sounded like nails on a chalkboard. The couple held their ears and screamed because of the sound. Screech chuckled a bit when she heard something behind her. It sounded like light footsteps and she turned around.

"Mysterion… what are you doing out here tonight?" she asked and got readied to jump.

"I heard your screech. Why is it you that can't allow newly found couples to be happy? Why must you ruin their first kiss, over and over again?" he asked and took a step closer to her.

"Because my first boyfriend never took the first kiss seriously. Why should others get their perfect first kiss, when all I got was a fucking ass grab and a tongue that felt like an insect making its way down my throat?!" she yelled and Mysterion looked at her.

"So, the kiss I gave you last night, wasn't satisfactory?" he asked.

"That's something else Mysterion. You only did it so that I would join your side, not because you love me. Not even my first boyfriend loved me… he only used me!" she yelled and jumped onto the next building.

"Screech!" Mysterion yelled and jumped after her. He could hear her screeching and more people screaming because of the sound.

"Screech! Stop!" he yelled and could see her stopping up. He noticed the rest of his friends standing in front of her.

"Screech, you have ruined your last date! We will take you to prison, and everybody in South Park can date freely and without having to fear about your screech ever again!" Human kite yelled and she took a step back.

"Good job luring her here Mysterion" The Coon said and stepped forward.

"The fuck?" she said and looked at Mysterion "you didn't fucking lure me here! I just ran!"

"Maybe that's what Mysterion wanted you to believe"

"No he didn't! The fuck man? I just went here, because young couples go here all the freaking time!" she yelled.

"Mysterion! You led her here, right?"

"I'd rather not comment on that" he answered and they all turned to Screech.

"See, he doesn't want to embarrass you! Because he lured you here!" Tupperware yelled.

"No! Ah goddamn it! I had already planned to go here, because young couples go fucking here! Nothing satisfies me as much as interrupting someone's first time" she said and a cloud glided in front of the moon, momentarily making everything dark. The second after the cloud was gone, and so was Screech.

"GODAMMIT!" The Coon yelled and walked to where she'd been standing just the moment before "how could she escape us? How could we let her go? How?!" he yelled loudly.

"Dude, relax. We can just get her tomorrow" Tool shed said.

"Yeah dude, she lives here, we'll get her tomorrow" Human Kite said.

"Hey guys… where'd Mysterion go?" Tupperware said.

"Timmy!" Iron maiden yelled and they all looked around.

"I don't know dude…" Tool shed said.

* * *

"Screech!" Mysterion yelled and looked at the girl. She stopped and looked at him.

"What?" she snapped at him. She was furious about the little encounter just before, and was in the mood to really talk.

"Are you okay?" he asked and she looked at him.

"Since when do you care? We're on opposite sides you asshole" she said and turned her back to him.

"I've always cared. Ever since you got out on the streets, on that cold December night five years ago. Something about you, just caught my eyes" he said as he walked closer to her "maybe it was the fact that your suit was so red, and the newly fallen snow so white. Maybe it was your eyes, so sad, that I felt my heart stinging just by looking in them" she turned around and looked at him.

"You're just saying that so you can catch me. You don't care, nobody cares about me" she said in a sad tone and felt his warm arms encircle her with his cape.

"I care. Like I said last night; I'll do anything to protect you. I can be your guardian angel and you'll never be alone again"

"You've said that to Karen McCormick too. Be her angel instead" she said and pushed him away "it… it's too late for me anyway" she said and a lonely tear made its way down her cheek.

"It's never too late. Everybody can be saved if they want to. I can see it in you, you're just alone" he said and she looked up at the sky.

"Just forget Mysterion. We could never be together. We are like day and night. You move silently in the night, your opponent never noticing you before it's too late; the silence is your weapon. I move quickly, also silently. But not because I don't want to be seen, but because I like to scare people. I use my voice to let my opponents know I'm here; the noise is my weapon"

"We could change that, you're strong. Strong enough to lift even Cartman about your head"

"Fatass never saw that one coming" she said with a smile on her lips.

"If we could make that your new weapon, train you in the martial arts, you could become a great super hero" he took her hand "I meant what I said last night, you are a beautiful flower" he said and kissed her hand. His lips were warm and she almost gave in to his sweet talking.

"No!" she yelled and pulled her hand out of his grip "no I can't. I cannot commit myself to anyone, no matter how nice they may seem. My first and only boyfriend, seemed so nice to me, but he was a real dick. He dumped me as soon as he found someone prettier" she said and turned away from him again "I can never forgive men for that. You're all the same! Small idiotic fuckers!" she yelled.

"I'm not. I would never hurt you" Mysterion said and Screech sighed.

"I wish my brain would allow me to believe in that!"

"Mysterion!" Tool shed yelled and jumped on the roof. Screech looked at Mysterion.

"You fucking tricked me! You little liar!" she yelled and threw a small pill on the ground and a big cloud of smoke poofed up. When the smoke cleared, she was gone. All that was left of her ever being there, was the faint scent, one only Mysterion noticed, of chocolate. He looked around and tried to locate where she'd go off to.

"Dude, what the hell were you doing? We're supposed to put her behind bars!"

"You idiots! I almost had her, she was almost saved!" Mysterion yelled and looked at them.

A little away from the boys, Screech was listening to their conversation. She had planned to screech them all into a coma, then ripping off their masks to see who they really were. But she didn't want to do that anymore. Why had Mysterion talked about saving her? She brushed off the thought and went into the apartment below her.

"Dude, why'd you even wanna save her?" Tool shed asked.

"Yeah? She's just a whiny little bitch" The Coon said.

"She's not, she's just lost!" Mysterion yelled.

"Ooh, sounds like somebody's in love" The Coon said "Mysterion and Screech, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" he started singing and Mysterion growled.

"Hey, who's that? Bzzzzz" Mosquito asked and pointed behind Mysterion. They all looked at the girl who now came out of the shadows.

"Oh shit dude! That's Jessica!" Tool shed whispered to Human Kite.

"Holy shit, you're right! Wait, what's she doing here?"

"Who the fuck are you little bitch?" The Coon asked and she looked at him.

"None of your fucking business, fat coon" she answered and his face went red.

"What did you just call me?!" he yelled and Mysterion stepped in front of him.

"Who are you, fair woman?" he asked as politely as he could.

"My name is Jessica Starson… and who might you be?"

"My name, is Mysterion. Is this your home?"

"Half the time, my parents are divorced, and I'm at my father's this week. You woke me up" she said and rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"We're sorry, we'll be going now"

"Okay then" she said and walked back in. Mysterion looked after her a bit before the others snickered.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Dude, you're in love with Jessica?!" Human Kite asked and Mysterion blushed.

"Am not!" he yelled and the others laughed "oh screw you guys, I'm going home!" he said and walked past them.

"EY! That's MY line you little fucker!" The Coon yelled and turned around to look at Mysterion "where the hell did he go off to now?!" he yelled in frustration upon seeing he wasn't in sight "goddamn it! I hate when he does that!" The coon yelled and turned to the others "any of you guys know what time it is?"

"It's around midnight, why?" Human Kite said and The Coon sighed.

"We should get some real crime fighting done before anyone notices we're gone"

"Dude… that was like… polite" Human Kite said and The Coon looked at him.

"Oh fuck no! Listen here you stupid Jew! I am not nice okay?!" he yelled and grabbed him by the hem of his shirt "GOT THAT?!" he yelled and Human Kite gulped.

"Sure thing dude! Just, let go of me, okay?" he said and The Coon let him go.

In her bed downstairs, Jessica was looking at the book and sighed.

"How many times will it take, before I fucking get to save you? Just fucking once you stupid bastard?" she blinked once and sighed "death number 569, freak accident with a saw in shop class" she closed her eyes and a tear fell down her cheek. She hugged herself and rolled onto her back in her double bed.

"why Kenny? Why do you die on me the whole freaking time? Goddamn it… I must be going crazy or something" she said and sighed.

* * *

End of chapter, not much to say

Hope the story is acceptable enough


	4. Chapter 4

Fourth Chapter

* * *

She woke up by the feeling of her eyes sting and sat up. the pillow was wet and had a small crust of salt on it.

"Oh just great Jessie. You've fucking cried in your sleep again" she sighed and got up from the bed. She heard her phone ring and went over and picked it up "an unknown number… the fuck?" she said before picking it up.

"Hello, this is Jessica Stardom" she said and looked out the window.

"Hey Sweet tits!" a familiar voice sounded and she looked at the phone.

"Kenny? When the fuck did your families get enough money to pay for a phone?!"

"Hey!" he yelled back.

"Oh sorry, too Cartman. But seriously? A phone?" she said.

"Oh yeah, we won a free phone"

"How did you get the phone then?"

"I pulled it out of my mom's hand, just after she'd beaten the crap out of my dad to talk to her friends, then I got the fuck out of there"

"Seriously? Dude, your mom's going to kill you" she said and giggled a bit "hold on… where're you now?" she said when she could hear some kids yell and laugh in the background.

"Where do you think?"

"Oh god! Kenny it's like… hold on" she said and looked at her clock "holy fuck its 11:30! How the fuck did I sleep for such a long time?"

"Well… as far as I know, you've had a troubled time lately. How's the divorce going?"

"Crappy as fuck! Mom's seriously getting more action than Cartman's mom on a good Saturday night!"

"Holy… fuck"

"No shit Sherlock! But it's okay, she says I can just go to dad's house if it gets too loud… so I did"

"Oh... so you're at your dad's?" she could hear him stopping up.

"Yup" she said and then she heard him starting to walk again.

"Well, then I called you in time. I was just on the way to your mom's; you've got to tell me these kind of things earlier you know"

"Sorry, but I got here just last night" she said and looked in her closet for a shirt.

"Last night?"

"Yeah, is something wrong about that?" she asked "hold on a second, I'm putting you on speaker, I have to get dressed before you get here" she said and clicked the button "okay, you're on"

"Exactly when did you arrive at your dad's?" He asked and she caught on his slightly suspicious tone.

"About two o'clock. I was so goddamn tired when I arrived! My mom had been banging against the freakin' walls for solid 5 hours!" she giggled again a bit "but that wasn't even the most incredible thing!" she laughed and looked after a shirt.

"What was then?" Kenny asked.

"Mysterion and some of his friends were on my roof when I got home! Can you believe it?"

"What I can't believe is that you're wearing that smoking hot thong" he said and snickered.

"Say what!?" Jessica yelled and jolted up "are you outside my window?"

"Nope, just wanted to know what you were wearing" he said and she could almost hear him smirk "is it the red one or the black one?"

"None! Good grief Kenny, stop being such a perv, would you?"

"Oh come on! Give me some sugar!" Kenny said and she sighed.

"It's the one Cartman gave me last year as a prank, the hot pink one" she blushed and looked at the shirt she'd pulled out #I'll get him back with this one# she put it on and looked in the mirror.

"Ooh boy… oh I can see it now"

"Oh shut up Kenny!" she said and blushed even more. Something then caught her eyes and she smirked evilly #purrfect# she thought to herself and put it on.

"I might be delayed a bit" he said and she sighed.

"Kenny… too… much… freaking… info dude!" she yelled. He laughed a bit she facepalmed herself.

"Well I'll be there in about 2 minutes, so you'd better be dressed before then" he chuckled and she sighed again.

"Oh I will" she smirked into the phone "Kenny boy" she moaned into the phone. She could almost hear his muffled moan in response and giggled to herself.

He arrived at Jessica's house about 10 minutes after he'd called her. He knocked on the door and heard something coming towards the door.

#that sounds like… high heels? # he thought and the door knob was turned.

"Oh hey Kenny" Jessica said with a smirk and he almost dropped his jaw.

"Holy…" he looked her up and down and wiped the drool off his chin "high heeled leather boots, a tank top that looks like it's about to burst and short tight jean"

"And you can't touch" she said and walked inside "I've had enough with all your lewd comments, now come on in" she said, giggled, turned around and walked inside.

"You bitch…" he said and looked at her swaying hips "just one question?"

"Yes?" she looked over her shoulder and blinked seductively.

"Where on earth have you been hiding those curves?"

"Under my clothes silly" she said and giggled "look, it's only for today, and if you tell this to anyone I'll crush you between my twins here" she said and leaned forward, pushing her boobs together.

"If you did, I'd die happy" he said quietly and walked after her. He noticed she wobbled a bit and got slightly concerned "are you sure you can walk in those?"

"Yup" she looked down and gulped silently. The second she fell over her own feet and landed on the floor "or… no" she sighed and rolled onto her back "could you help me up, please Kenny?" she asked and Kenny stared at her.

"Sure" he said and reached out a hand and pulled her up "maybe you shouldn't wear those?"

"No! The set is unfinished if I don't wear them!" she yelled and crossed her arms.

"Just put something a little showing on, you're just giving me sweet dreams to last for the rest of my life" he said in an angry tone.

"Okay, okay" she said and sighed. She walked into her room and found her favorite pair of jeans and a hoodie "better?"

"Much"

"but I just wanted to see if I could turn someone on… just for once in my life" she said and looked at the clothes."

"You don't have to wear something like that to turn me on" Kenny mumbled and she looked at him.

"Huh?" she asked and looked at him "what did you say?"

"Uh nothing!" he said and looked around "it's kinda… empty" he said and she sighed. She walked him to the kitchen.

"Yeah, my dad doesn't really earn that much money, or rather, the money he makes goes to mom until she gets a job. Which she'll never do!" Jessica shouted and pouted "stupid bitch can't do a thing herself"

"And you can?" Kenny asked and sat on the kitchen counter.

"You know I can Kenny! I've kinda had to since dad works so much, but then again I guess o normally get the servants to do it when I'm at mom's" she sat down next to Kenny "but I guess you're better at taking care of yourself…" she looked at him "how're things going back at home?" she asked in a concerned voice and put her hand on top of his.

"Well… Karen is the same as always. She's still pretty happy, even though we're still poor. Mom and dad are still drunk most of the time, but it's getting better" he looked at her hand and then at her.

"You can tell me everything you know, so just tell me every detail" she said and smiled at him.

"Well… it's all just so… I don't know. I never realized how… bad it was"

"It's okay Kenny, don't worry. I can keep a secret" she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I think… I think my mom's cheating on dad"

"Why?" Jessica asked and looked him in the eyes from his shoulder.

"Well… she seems so much happier lately… and I can't figure out why"

"So you automatically suspect her to cheat on your dad?" she giggled a bit and squeezed his hand "I can tell you one thing, my mom's been spending a lot of time with your mom. You know, women's stuff"

"Well… that makes sense" he said and chuckled "hey this is nice" he said and looked at her.

"Yeah" she answered and he shifted a bit. They both blushed a bit and Kenny leaned a bit closer to her "did I ever tell you you're beautiful?" he asked.

"About a thousand times" she smirked and half lidded her eyes

"Well I'm telling you again "you're goddamn beautiful" he horsed out and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

* * *

"Goddammit!" Jessica said and face palmed herself "we did it again Kenny"

"Yup…" he said and looked at Jessica, smiling "but you're the only one regretting" he chuckled and caressed her back.

"Stop that Kenny" she answered and lied down on top of him "on second thought, continue"

"As you wish, sweet tits" he purred out.

"Don't call me that" she said and kissed his chest "Kenny… we have two options"

"What do you mean?" he asked and went lower on her back.

"We either have to stop this" she smiled up at him.

"You know I won't let that happen"

"Or we could try dating again…" she said hesitantly and looked down. Kenny looked at her in slight confusion.

"We haven't dated since fourth grade… I thought you said you'd never date after Tammy Warmer"

"Well… that was such a long time ago, and I still like you. Plus you thought I was a boy back then"

"Yup, boy did I have issues"

"So will you? Please Kenny, just one date?" she pleaded. He waited a bit before he smiled up at her.

"Of course we can date, I love you Jay" he said and she giggled.

"Thank you"

* * *

messed up enough? well this chapter confuses even me, so don't complain about it and make out any sense you want.

Bit of more background on Jessica.


	5. Chapter 5

Fifth chapter.

Just a filler chapter...

* * *

"Hey guys!" Kenny yelled happily as he ran towards his friends. He was wearing his hood, but they could hear him clearer than normally.

"Hey Kinny" Cartman said and Kenny stopped up "anything good happen lately?"

"In fact, yes" he said and the others looked at him.

"Kenny you little fucktwit!" they could hear someone yell behind him and looked. She stopped up next to Kenny and panted loudly. She'd obviously been running fast to keep up with him.

"I've started dating Jessie again" Kenny said proudly and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Again? You've dated before?" Stan asked and looked at Jessie "dude, you okay?"

"I'm fine; sonic here" she pointed at Kenny with her thumb "just wanted to tell you as soon as possible"

"I bet he's afraid that Clyde or Craig would catch you again" Kyle snickered and she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"That was a total onetime thing guys! Maybe a two time with Clyde, but not more"

"Bitch, you totally wet your panties every time he spoke to you" Cartman said.

"Shut up! Or I'll kick you in the nuts!" she yelled back, red as a beet.

"See? You're blushing, which means I'm right, dyke!" he was rewarded with a kick in the nuts by Kenny for that remark.

"Dude!" Stan said and looked at Cartman, who was holding his crotch while screeching something intelligible "who'd you kick him?" Kyle lied on the ground next to him, laughing his ass off in sweet delight.

"No one calls my Jay a dyke!" he exclaimed.

"Thanks Kitty"

"Kitty?" Stan and Kyle said in unison and looked at Kenny.

"You don't wanna know…" he said somewhat embarrassed and Jessica cleared her throat.

"Where was i? Oh yeah: but I can take care of myself" she said and Cartman got up.

"well… if she's not a dyke" he managed to say while still making pained sounds "then she sure as hell is the fugliest bitch I've ever laid my eyes upon" he snickered "and I'm counting both Ms. Chokesondik and Barbara Streisand"

"At least I'm not fat!" she said and kicked him in the nuts. A sickening crunching sound could be heard and Cartman fell to the ground screaming.

"Serves you right fatass" Kyle managed to stutter out, even though the new kick had ensued a new laughing attack.

"I think you broke his balls…" Stan said and looked at Cartman.

"Hope I did, then we won't have to think about having a mini Cartman running around"

"Hey, who's that girl?" Kyle said, his laughter dying out in two seconds. The others looked too and Cartman tried to roll over. His eyes widened in horror.

"Gi-ginger!" he stuttered out under his groaning.

"I don't believe it" Jessica mumbled and the others looked at her.

"You know her?"

"Yeah, and she's not a ginger Cartman!" she yelled and looked at Cartman evilly "she's my cousin, Samantha Bowlby"

"Seriously?" Kenny looked at her and Jessica pushed his arm away.

"What's she doing in South Park I wonder" she said before looking at the boys "okay guys, listen. In about 10 seconds, I'll do something you never thought I'd do"

"Strip in the open?" Kenny said hopefully.

"No…" she took a deep breath and turned around. Then she shrieked and ran towards Samantha, who looked at Jessica and her eyes widened. Then she shrieked herself and ran towards her. The boys stood and gawked at the two as they met in the middle and jumped up and down while speaking in some foreign language they couldn't hear.

"Oh my god!" they could hear Jessica say. They girl responded with a high pitched noise that made them both squeak.

"Dude… does she?" Kyle said and looked at Stan.

"I think she does…" he replied and turned his head to the two girls.

"No way…" Kenny said.

"Jessica Melissa Jennifer Starson has a girlish side, an extreme one at that" Stan said and they all three gulped. The two girls turned around and looked at the three boys. Then they smiled and ran towards them. They were giggling and Kenny looked like he was still trying to comprehend the fact that his girlfriend, who they all suspected of being a boy when she first entered the second grade, had made such sounds.

"Guys, this is my dear Cousin, Samantha Bowlby" she said and giggled.

"Hey" she said looked at Kyle. She then leaned in and whispered something in Jessica's ear. They both giggled and she whispered something back. Then they both made a high pitched squeal and giggled afterwards.

"What did you two just talk about?" Kenny asked and looked at Jessica.

"Oh nothing" they both giggled a little more and then Jessica cleared her throat. Cartman had gotten up in the meantime, still holding his crotch.

"Anyways, let me introduce you to the boys. This here's Stan; he's one of the jocks in our class"

"Hey" he said and waved a bit.

"But he's taken, and you shouldn't try and flirt him, unless you want to go to the sun" Jessica whispered and then turned her attention back to the boys "the blond here is south parks number one playboy buyer, my boyfriend Kenny"

"Jessie's got the bigger melons" he said after ten seconds and Jessie sent a look to Stan and he smacked Kenny in the back of his head.

"Charming isn't he?" Jessie said and sighed "and the fatass is Eric, but we all call him Cartman"

"I'm not Fat you little bitch!" he said.

"He's the biggest asshole, and hates just about everyone" she said and Samantha nodded.

"Why's he holding his crotch?" she asked.

"I kicked him in the nuts" she looked at Kyle "and this is-"

"Kyle, Kyle Broflovski" he said and reached out his hand. Samantha took it and giggled.

"Broflovski?" she said in question.

"He's a jewrat" Cartman said and Samantha looked at Kyle.

"Jewrat? Oh he means Jew… cool I guess" she said and took her hand back.

"Cool?" he said and blushed slightly.

"Yeah, we don't have that many Jews back in Denmark… so I don't know how to act around them"

"Oh that's easy, just don't say Jesus when you're near his mom. And don't talk about Christian holidays either"

"oh-okay" Samantha said and smiled "you look cute by the way Kyle"

"What-what-what?" Kyle said and the two girls giggled.

"Well, you'll have to excuse us guys, but we have to go"

"What? Why?" Kenny asked.

"I have to show Samantha around town, and introduce her to some more people"

"So you're already ditching me for someone else?" Kenny said jokingly.

"Don't worry" Jessica smiled at him and giggled "she can't replace my little kitty cat" she winked and he blushed.

"Kitty Cat?" Cartman asked and looked at Kenny. He sighed and pulled his hood down.

"Dude!" Kyle yelled and looked at him. He was wearing two fake cat ears "She make you wear those?"

"Well, yeah… but that's not the only reason she calls me Kitty" he said and got a glintin the eyes that made the other boys shiver.

"What do you mean?" Cartman asked.

"Dude… don't ask" Stan said.

* * *

I bet Kenny would look absolutely ADOWABLE as a kitty-cat X3

And Samantha Bowlby is inspired by my cousin (surprise!) Amanda Houlby (pronounced Howl-by)


	6. Chapter 6

Sixth Chapter

this was meant to be serious, not sure if it is.

* * *

She stood and looked over the city. She knew he would come soon. It had been valentine day's evening, and she had been busy. There wasn't an alley in the city where you couldn't hear a couple scream in agony. But this time, she'd had help.

"Is everything okay?" she could hear her new partner, Soundred, ask behind her. She turned around and gave a weak smile.

"I'm just fine, don't worry" but she knew she would worry. She always worried. It was the very reason she'd come to south park to begin with. She'd been living there for a few weeks, staying low to see how she was doing.

"You're not fine; you'll have to talk about it eventually. I know it's been bothering you for a long time and-"

"I'm fine!" she interrupted Soundred before she could get any closer to what she was hiding. She couldn't hide many things from her, but this was something else "I'm not in the mood to talk. It's too… soon" she said and Soundred sighed.

"It's been nearly seven years sweetie. You'll have to talk about it soon, or it'll drive you mad…der" she said with a small smile. The mood was heavy; it would always be close to valentines. Suddenly, Soundred looked around "someone's coming this way" she said and Screech looked around.

"Who?" she asked, even though she knew it could only be one group.

"Screech!" she had been right. She turned towards the sound and looked up at a slightly taller building and saw The Coon and Friends. The Coon looked pissed.

"Seriously dude! We've been running all over town trying to find you!" he said and jumped down. Screech just looked at him, noticing they were one member short. Her anger rose slightly, The Coon was going down.

"I didn't want to get caught, you should realize that, fatty" she said in a plain tone. The Coon looked at her and she saw the anger rise in his eyes "I'd kinda hoped you would all get slowed down by that major weight The Coon has to carry around, with his ass being so big and all that, but I guess he somehow managed to be fast anyway" Soundred looked at her with worry.

"Who the fuck is that?" the Coon asked, sounding pissed off. He pointed at Soundred who briefly caught the eye of a guy with kite on his back. She blushed slightly.

"That's my newest partner, Soundred" Soundred bowed slightly and looked at them all. She'd been informed about the whole lot, but only the basics. She knew the members names, but as far as she could tell, one was missing.

"And what's her superpower?" the one with the kite asked.

"I can manipulate sound" she said and looked at Screech.

"Then you two fit perfectly together, Screech makes high pitched sounds, and I guess you can control them?" a guy with black hair, who she identified as Toolshed said.

"Yup, but could I share a small secret? You shouldn't piss her off today" she said and pointed at Screech.

"Why, she on her period or something?" The Coon asked "Bitch is always pissed off, so I don't see the big difference at-" he was cut off when Screech decided to shut them all up with her highest screech yet. They held their ears and she took a run for it. Soundred had gone down too, but Screech knew she would be able to get away herself. She jumped from building to building, until she arrived at a big mansion.

"I thought I'd might find you here" a gruff voice sounded. She turned around and looked directly into the sad blue eyes that belonged to Mysterion.

"Yikes! Bitch is definitely on her period!" The Coon yelled. He was still holding his ears. Soundred looked at him with hateful eyes.

"Shut up, you don't know the half of it" she said and got up. she felt a bit wobbly, the screech had given her a major headache. She tripped over her own feet but was quickly caught by the kite boy, a nickname she just gave him.

"Thank you" she said shortly and he let go of her "you guys are really polite to your enemies"

"Well, technically you haven't done anything to us yet, you've only helped Screech, so I don't see the problem" he said and took a step away from her. Her costume looked a lot like Screech's except it was a green color that reminded him of his hat.

"She totally is our enemy dude!" The Coon said and looked at him "dude! Don't go soft on her just because you think she's hot!" he yelled and pushed Soundred.

"I'm not in this to be evil you know" she said, slightly offended by the Coon's rude behavior.

"Then why are you helping Screech huh?" The Coon said in a mocking tone.

"I'm doing it to keep her from going bananas" she crossed her arms and looked at the Coon "she has a very fragile mentality if you didn't know"

"Sure she has" The Coon looked at the others "she obviously lying guys!"

"No, I think we should consider what she says as a reality" Tupperwear said "I think she's telling the truth"

"Thank you" Soundred said and bowed.

"Then tell us! Tell us about Screech's so called 'fragile mentality'!" The Coon yelled.

"I can't… she doesn't want anybody to know… besides, it could give away her secret identity"

"Goddammit!" The Coon yelled "so close to getting her goddamn identity!" he yelled.

"Listen, all you guys have to know is this: don't fuck with her when it's valentines, or around seven in the evening the day before valentines… she'll probably kill you" she said flatly and looked around. They all went silent and looked at her, until Human Kite decided to break the silence.

"Why are you helping her? Except for keeping her under control I mean?" he asked.

"I… I don't know. I don't even like to do the things she wants me to. I love, she doesn't. it's like, since that dickhead broke up with her on valentines, she has been unable to really love" she sighed #not even that new boyfriend of hers… I feel sorry for him# she thought.

* * *

"What are you doing here Mysterion?" Screech asked him and took a step back, cautiously.

"I want to help you Screech" he said and walked closer to her. She kept backing away, but suddenly found herself backed up to a wall. He walked right up to her, making sure she couldn't move away from the wall.

"I'm fine!" she said and looked away from him "nothing is wrong, I am fine" she felt a lump in her throat and the mantra she'd repeated during all of second grade played in her head #it's all my fault, all my fault, all my fault# she started to shiver and tears started to well up in her eyes. Mysterion looked at her with widening eyes.

"You're obviously NOT okay Screech" he said and held her close. Her body still shivered and she started to sob quietly. He'd never seen her in this state before "but you have to tell me before I can help. I won't tell the others, I promise" he stroked the back of her hair gently. She took a deep breath and tried to get herself together.

"There's nothing to tell. I'm… over… it" she sobbed out. She clenched her fingers on his chest.

"No, I can tell you're not…" he said and she sobbed a little again.

"It's… it's been so long… I can't…" she said and he understood a little.

"Second grade…" he said and felt her stiffen "I've had my suspicions on who you might be. And one of the people I'm suspecting to be you, was in some sort of accident in second grade. She got over it quickly and no one thought more about it. I didn't either, until I met you" he said. She just stayed silent so he continued "I remember that girl, sitting there in the hallway by the counselor's office. She was crying like two small waterfalls, and I was scared of her at first. Both her right leg and arm was broken, and she kept repeating the same thing over and over again, I don't know how long she sat there, I just walked by a couple of times while she sat there"

"No one… walked by that day" she said and looked up at him "you…" he feared a bit that she'd figured out who he was. Even though he wanted nothing more for her to know who he was, he would need to keep it away from her. He wanted to be able to help as both his egos.

"You talked to Kenny McCormick… didn't you?" she looked away and he felt the fear go away. Then she pushed him away "I… I can't continue to be with you Mysterion… I have someone else…" she hugged herself and he felt like his heart sank down into his stomach. She was still shivering, and now he could hear her mumble lowly.

"What happened Screech?" he asked and she looked up into the sky.

"Crash… boom… death… blood… it was all my fault" she mumbled, but he could still hear it. He got more worried, but suddenly she went silent and her body stopped shivering. She looked back at him, with a warm smile.

"Sorry about that" she said and giggled "but now you must excuse me" she said and bowed deeply "but I believe I have some dates that needs ruining" she got up and started running. He had been stunned by the sudden change in attitude, and could only look after her. Then he shook his head and went after her.

"Goddammit women are hard to understand" he mumbled to herself and ran as fast as he could.

But in front of a tree, away from his sight, Screech stood and watched him as he ran out to get her. When he was out of her sight, she slid down it while mumbling her little mantra.

"All my fault, all my fault, all my fault" she kept on mumbling while she walked back to the house. She didn't even bother being careful while walking inside. She could hear her mother cry her heart out in her room, and knew that she wouldn't notice her coming home late. She walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror while she took off the red mask. She looked into her own blue eyes, but couldn't even recognize her own face. It was warped to a crying expressionless mask, one that kept on saying the same words. She kept repeating then until she fell asleep.

* * *

okay, so i know that what i've written in this chapter, might be completely opposite to what i've written before. But that's because it's meant to.


End file.
